A Not-so-perfect Christmas

We have this weird obsession in our culture with having "The Perfect Christmas." Everybody's "perfect Christmas" looks a little different, but the one thing commercials all agree upon is that they must all be perfect. The sparkling tree. The stockings hung by the fire. A delicious and beautiful meal. And of course, the "perfect gift" for each person you love sitting underneath the tree (and if you are a woman, you know that expectation involves diamonds and Kay jewelers somehow; for men, a new car with the world's most gigantic red bow on top!)

Even as Christians, I think we have some of these "perfect Christmas" expectations, although in a different way. We recognize that we are celebrating Christ's birth and struggle against the consumerism to capture that "true meaning" of Christmas. Which I think is wonderful, and important. But...we have certain ideas of how that should work, too. We should attend the Christmas Eve service and bask in the candlelit hush as the choir sings "Silent Night." We should gather our family and read the famous Christmas story from Luke chapter 2, and thrill at the words "Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth, peace, good will toward men." We should spend quality time together with our families, singing the lovely old carols and feeling "peace on earth" in our hearts.

I admit that I have these expectations, and I love Christmas. Traditions are very important in my family, and I want everything to be JUST like it was for me when I was a kid. Well, this year my expectations fell pretty...flat. I had great plans. My sister and brother in law were here the whole Christmas week, and we were going to go up to my parents house and spend all kinds of time when them and my family. A massive snowstorm kind of stuck us on separate sides of the mountain, so that didn't really happen. Robert was going to take some time off...but instead he ended up working double shifts and late hours on all kinds of computer "emergencies," leaving me alone with the kids. I had made homemade peppermint and almond bark for all my neighbors, and I was going to give it to them along with an ornament that had scripture references on them...but then our family caught a bad cold, and we were all sick just in time for Christmas.

 Being up all night coughing meant we didn't go to church Christmas morning (dressed all in our matching plaid dresses/shirts, which I had planned. Yes, I know I'm a dork but I love matching our family's clothes!). Instead a tired Daddy attempted to placate the baby while an even more time Mama attempted to take a nap, neither one terribly successfully. We made it out to my parent's house for Christmas dinner (in our pajamas), where the kids had a great time, and I tried to put a good face on it, but honestly I really felt so very terrible that it was hard to enjoy anything, even time with my family! Even the food didn't really taste right thanks to my awful cold. And of course, it's hard to sing carols with a croaky sore throat. As much as I love Christmas and am glad we got to spend it with my family, I didn't really "feel" the joy I usually do at this season. And I must admit this week I have been kind of feeling sorry for myself, cooped up in the house being sick, with all the sick kids, while my poor sick husband still has to go to work and fix all these dumb computer emergencies, and my family is all up in Colorado (we got them sick too, just in case you were wondering!).

But then I started thinking about the REAL Christmas - that first one. I don't imagine Mary felt terribly "Christmasy" either. An unwed pregnant teenager travelling miles from home on a donkey with a man who was her husband in name only, having to give birth to her first baby in a stable - not the cleanest or most comfortable of environments - and having strangers coming to stare at her...this doesn't sounds like the "perfect Christmas" I would imagine! I bet there were lots of moments when she didn't "feel" so good about it and maybe even said "why me, Lord?" in her heart. But she was able to look past the circumstances to what really mattered - that God's own Son was born and salvation was come.

 And those things are still true regardless of how perfect - or imperfect - my Christmas was this year! When I think about all I have - and material possessions doesn't even enter the picture, although I have more of those than I ever could need - it makes me so grateful and humble as I realize how little I deserve it.

"Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel."  

Monday Madness

It is snowing a TON at our house today! It's lovely...but I'm also afraid that all my family will be snowed in up there in the mountains and I won't get to see them this week...Daniella and Phillip are here and Lyd and Sophie are off school, and Tiana's in town, so we have all kinds of fun girly things we need to do!

In other news...

Joseph informed me today that he wanted to have 7 brothers and 5 sisters. He does realize that adds up to 13 right? THIRTEEN! Oh dear. It's easy for him to think that sounds fun. By the time there are 13 of them, he will be grown up and get to go away to college. Just about the time they become more helpful than messy, they leave the house. Sigh. God's sense of humor seems kind of mean sometimes.

I'm sure by the time I have 13, twelve of them will seem like a piece of cake, right?

Mmmm. Cake. Think I need some cake...

Customer Service

TO: Customer Service

Department of Child Assignment

Heaven

RE:  Recent Purchases

Dear Sir,

This is the third letter I've written concerning my recent purchases of your product, and I have yet to recieve any satisfaction from your department. I find myself far from happy with my purchases, 4 units of your "Cute Little Baby" product (serial numbers 1292006, 0272008, 08292009, and 04222011). These products were marked as "precious, adorable, sweet, cuddly little babies" and sure, they lived up to your promises at the beginning. I read the warning labels about the side effects - "may include sleep deprivation, irritability, and lack of personallo bvgbftvb tgh nl time" - but I thought the benefits seemed to outweigh the risks, and they did...at first. However, I failed to notice the "fine print" clause which stated "warning - unit will most likely grow into loud, obnoxious, destrucive, screaming toddler!" I really think this warning ought to be written in giant letters and posted ALL OVER THE PACKAGING! 

As you'll notice from my other letters, my attempts to return these purchases have been rejected. Apparently the fact that I feel you used FALSE ADVERTISING to get me to buy your product is insufficient to overcome your "No Returns or Exchanges" policy. I think I should at least be allowed to exchange them for a better-behaved model. I find your policy most inflexible and unhelpful. 

At the very least, I feel I should be entitled to some sort of refund, as these products have become insatiable eating machines consuming every last resource I possess. They consume not only all of my food, but also every spare bit of my time, energy, sleep, health, personal grooming, and patience. I find your claim that these products are a "long-term investment" and "should start showing major returns in approximately 18 years" to be very unhelpful. I don't want to wait 18 years to see a return on my investment! I bought it hoping to be able to enjoy it NOW! Who thinks 18 years ahead, anyway?

Because of all these problems with your products, and the fact that your customer service representatives have been so unhelpful in dealing with them, I am writing to inform you that I will no longer be purchasing your...

What's that? You have a NEW model? Sweet smelling? Blue eyes? EXTRA-cuddly? Awwwww.....

Well...I suppose I could always use one more. Ok, you've got a deal!

Sincerely,

A Mother

Christmas presents

If you are like me, you have a lot of family members to buy or make gifts for, and not always a lot of great ideas! I don't think of myself as a really "great shopper" like my sister Daniella or my Aunt Diana. I can't always find something that I just KNOW the person will love, and I don't really love going shopping all the time! Also, when you have been in the same family for so many years - or friends for many years, like my best friend Rachel! - you start to run out of ideas. You've kind of done it all before! So here are a few ideas I've seen recently that are different and not terribly expensive:

1. Pumpkin Butter
I LOVE pumpkin (see my last post!), and I almost always buy a big one around Halloween just because I think they make pretty decorations. After Thanksgiving is over, I turn mine into a crock pot full of pumpkin butter. Here are some simple directions on how to do it - it's really quite easy!
NOTES - they say to use pie pumpkins, but I have always made mine with a regular large pumpkin and it turns out just fine. Just remember to cook the pumpkin first, either in the oven or the steamer! You should have seen me chipping away the rock-hard pumpkin from the shell the first year! ;-) It was funny...in retrospect. Put the finished butter in small, pretty glass canning jars and tie a ribbon around them, and you have a great gift for friends, neighbors, or Sunday School teachers. Just remember to tell them that the pumpkin butter NEEDS TO BE REFRIGERATED because it doesn't "can" safely like most other fruits. For this reason, you also can't mail it very well.

2. Build your own Smores Kit
I saw this for sale in some magazine, but I would totally do it myself. Three small decorative boxes, each with one component (graham crackers, chocolate, marshmallows) inside, stacked and tied together with a ribbon. So easy! Check out the dollar store or Hobby Lobby for the boxes - HL often has 1/2 off seasonal sales that makes things like this very reasonable.

3. Peppermint/Almond Bark
This is what I'm making for all the kids' teachers and neighbors this year! Here's a recipe for this simple and delicious treat. Sams Club sells 5lb bars of Ghiridelli white and milk chocolate for (I believe) about $4.88 each? Of course you could use chocolate chips as well. Same story as #2, find some boxes or tins on sale, and you are set! For almond bark, simply replace the peppermint oil with almond extract (you may have to play with the quantities, depending on the strength of the extract) and the crushed peppermint on top with chopped almonds. You could even toast the almonds for extra flavor and crunch.

KIDS

4. Build your own superhero cape kit
I saw this in a magazine too, but it seems so simple that I would make it. Cut a large rectangle of fabric in whatever colorful or shiny fabric you choose, wider at the bottom than the top (like this). (If you're really ambitious you can hem it like in the picture, but I probably won't. ;-) My kids will not care.) You can sew a ribbon/string on either side of the narrow end, or you can sew on a strip across the top with velcro on each end (again, see the link above). Then cut out a bunch of shapes, letters, or symbols out of different colored fabrics. You can find all sorts of sparkly, shiny, or otherwise interesting materials at the fabric store, or you could just use what you have at home! You can add beads, sequins, or even fabric paints, depending on the age of the child. Then wrap the cape up together with all the accessories and label it "Build Your Own Superhero Cape!" You may need to include some kind of fabric glue if you are giving this to someone else's children (again, depends on the age of the child!) so they can attach all their decorations to their cape.

5. Dress up box.
Find a largish box and paste pretty paper on the outside. Or you could buy a decorative box, even a hatbox, at a store - Tuesday Morning is one of my favorites, and they have tons of pretty boxes. A plastic bin with a lid from, say, Wal-Mart would work too, and you could decorate it with girly stickers. Then go to the thrift store and find all kinds of fun accessories, like gloves, hats, high-heeled shoes, feather boas, shawls, beads, costume jewelry, fluffy skirts, etc. for very cheap prices! Fill the box with all these dress up clothes and make a little girl's day! Note - You could use this idea for a boy too, just pick more manly attire like suit jacket, glasses frames, tie, man shoes, fedora, cape, sword, uniform, toy pistols, cowboy hat, etc.

KITCHEN

6. Bay Leaf wreath
Here's the link. This struck me as a really pretty and unique idea for someone who likes to cook. It's a wreath made out of fresh bay leaves, which makes the room look pretty and smell good, and then once it dries, you can pluck the leaves off and use them in cooking all year long. William Sonoma offers a garland too.

7. Personalized coffee mugs
Here's the link to a glass etching tutorial. It sounds intimidating, but it actually looks really easy. I am going to try this for a few of my own presents. It's basically just painting an etching acid (that they sell at Hobby Lobby) into a stencil that's pasted onto glass. The acid eats away at the glass, and you have a beautiful etched picture or image. I thought you could buy each person an inexpensive coffee mug - maybe even at the dollar store - and then etch their initial or full name onto it. That way, nobody gets their cups mixed up! Great for an office, or a household with many coffee drinkers. The possibilities here are pretty much limitless. You could buy a set of water glasses and give each person their own glass. You could etch names or initials onto pyrex storage containers or baking dishes so people don't get their lunches mixed up or lose their 9x13 pan at a potluck. (I hate it when I do that!) You can do fancy wine glasses for married couples. They sell several different styles of stencil for this at HL. Use your imagination!

8. Gift Basket for the Baker
They sell these pre-made, but they are SO expensive. Buy a pretty basket. Fill it with unique and neat things related to baking i.e. fun-shaped cookie cutters, hand towels, an apron (here's a site that shows you how to make one out of a man's shirt!), special flavorings or spices, like fancy vanilla, cardamom, almond extract, cinnamon, etc. You could include baking chocolate, a pretty pie pan or mini cake tins, pot holders that look like pineapples, etc. etc. (Just don't try to make your own potholders. They NEVER turn out right and they are just not worth the time and effort when you can buy them so cheaply. At least, that has been my experience!)The sky's the limit. Add a cookbook! or just some recipe cards with your favorites. You could do a "coffee basket" or "tea basket" with a mug and some different coffee/tea flavors, along with fancy sugar,  or a "hot chocolate basket" with marshmallows. I really like the idea of building your own gift basket because you can make each one unique to the person.


Those are my ideas so far. I have one other, but I am not going to share it because I know my mom and sisters read my blog sometimes, and I am making it for them for Christmas!

The 3 C's of great pumpkin pie

Thanksgiving food can be summed up in two words...two glorious words we wait all year to say:

PUMPKIN PIE!

Anyone who knows me knows I am crazy about anything with the word "pumpkin" in it. But pumpkin pie goes beyond that. It is a family tradition. If you're a Neal, you love pumpkin pie. (That weird Turner branch doesn't...but then, they're not Neals, are they?) My dad only likes two desserts, and pumpkin pie is the winter one (the summer one is homemade strawberry shortcake - homemade NEAL strawberry shortcake, which is different story altogether, but I'll save that for another post). We eat pumpkin pie for dessert, fighting over every scrap and licking the plate until its clean. (yes, there's a slight bit of exaggeration for effect here. But not as much as you'd think!) Then the morning after Thanksgiving, Mom pulls out the extra pumpkin pie she hid from the ravening hordes and we eat it for breakfast. That is what we do.

The baker of this all-important dish in our family? Yours truly. Now, I don't mean to brag because truthfully I am not a great cook, but I must say I have mastered the art of pumpkin pie. And if you want to know how to make a truly delightful pumpkin pie, all you have to do are follow the 3 C's of pumpkin pie baking:

1) Claim. You have to stake your claim as the only person capable of or ever allowed to bake pumpkin pie. You must do this as soon as you are old enough to bake without assistance. Make it clear that, because you are the oldest, it is your right, your privilege, and your responsibility to bake the pumpkin pies. This usually works because your younger brothers and sisters aren't old enough to bake. This gives you a chance to practice every year until you get really good at it. Now, after a few years, your brothers and sisters may have gotten older and started to protest. "Mom, how come she gets to bake the pumpkin pie? She's done it all these years. It's MY turn!" But fortunately, you have already established your claim. It is YOUR thing. "But Mom, I ALWAYS bake the pumpkin pie. It's my contribution to Thanksgiving! Don't you want me to help? Think of all the other things you have to do. And he/she won't do it right. You KNOW it's Dad's favorite..." This will work. (Usually.) Having established your prior claim, soon you will have everybody else in the family thinking that you are the only person who is capable of making truly perfect pumpkin pies, and with all your practice, it will probably be true!

2) Conviction. Once Claim is established, you must bake the pies with Conviction. You must believe in your Libby's Pumpkin Pie Recipe and stick to it - yet also not be afraid to add 1 teaspoon of nutmeg that the recipe does not call for. It will make a difference. You must have the Conviction to add that second can of evaporated milk even though the batter already looks runny enough and you are afraid it will be too thin if you add any more. You must have the Conviction that, although freshly pureed pumpkin and homemade evaporated milk may SEEM healthier, the pie really does need the canned stuff to reach it's optimum perfection. (It's only once a year!) And finally, most importantly, you must have the Conviction that your secret ingredient - your great-grandmother's pie crust recipe - will not fail you.

3) Courage. After you have made your batter and formed your pie shell with Conviction, you must finally have the Courage to pour it into the shell. The Courage to pour it even though your fear that the shell is too shallow and the filling too voluminous and it will pour all over the counter threatens to overwhelm you! Because if you can find that Courage - the Courage to fill it all the way to the top, no matter how precarious it may appear, you will have reached the optimum pie-to-filling ratio and, once that pie is baked and cooled and solid, you will have delicious pumpkin all the way up to the very top of the crust. (It also helps to have the Foresight to put a baking sheet under the pie in the oven so if it does happen to overflow, you don't have to clean burned pumpkin pie filling off your oven.) And finally, once that timer dings, you must have the Courage to pull it out, even if the center is a little wobbly, knowing beyond all doubt that it will firm up once it cools.

There you have it. The 3 C's of perfect pumpkin pie: Claim, Conviction, and Courage. Follow them and you, too, can master the Official Thanksgiving Dessert of the Neal Clan.

You picked the WRONG car, buddy

Our car was broken into this morning was Robert was at the gym. Someone smashed the front windshield and discovered (to their dismay, I'm sure) that there was absolutely nothing in our car worth stealing. The only thing they took? Two packages sitting on the front seat that I had given to Robert to mail for me, since his office is right next to the post office.

I have to admit, I really wish I could be there to see the thief's face when he opens the packages. You see, he got away with a $20 bra I was returning and a braid of hair I was sending to Locks of Love after my haircut! I have a feeling he's going to be quite disappointed. Unless, of course, the thief is a woman. A bald woman who happens to wear my exact bra size. If that's the case, she's welcome to them. Finding the right size bra is so difficult that I can understand the desperation of breaking into someone's car for it - I am almost tempted myself! ;-) On the other hand, the thief stole hair. For making wigs. For children with cancer. He should be SO ashamed of himself!

While having our car broken into is really annoying and costs us time and money, I can see a lot of blessings in this situation. Robert usually takes his expensive laptop to work, but for some reason today he didn't. I took most of the carseats out last night - not that anyone would probably take them, but if they did, it would cost us $400 to replace them all! Even the packages - usually our packages consist of expensive computer parts for his company Robert is exchanging. Also, there was some mix-up with our insurance that we just recently discovered and straightened out; otherwise it would have been cancelled. So overall I am just very thankful that we didn't have anything worth stealing!

(Also, I can say I have something in common with Rapunzel. We both have people trying to steal our hair!)

Yikes, yikes yikes and...let me guess: you have a 'great personality'

The kids were sculpting with play-dough while I was making supper last night, and I was talking to them, asking what each of their little sculptures were. I have to admit I wasn't listening all that closely, with a lot of "mmm-hmms" and "oh, that's great" comments. Then Joseph informed me that he was making a person.

"That's nice, Joseph."

"A BAD person."

That got my attention. "A BAD person?" I said skeptically. "What kind of bad person?"
"A Jew," he replied.

I blinked, certain I had heard wrong. "Excuse me?"
"You know, a Jew. Like in the Bible."

Uh oh. "Joseph, WHY would you say Jews are bad people?" I demanded. I knew for a fact that this was NOT one of the lessons I'd taught him during Bible time.

He didn't miss a beat. "Because they killed Jesus," he said matter-of-factly as he smoothed his play-dough man.

Oh dear. What could I say to that? Totally factual and yet...I really didn't want to encourage this kind of blanket anti-semitism! Aaaahh! Why hasn't somebody written a parenting manual called "Awkward statements your children will make and how to answer them"! I could just see my son walking up to a perfect stranger in the grocery store and saying "Jews are bad people. They killed Jesus. Want to see my tattoo from the Aryan brotherhood?" Yikes. 

Wherever you fall in the "grafted in/cut off" theological debate, I have always believed that God still honors His "I will bless them that bless you and curse them that curse you" promise. Of course Jews, like all of us, are sinners and have to accept Christ to be saved. The Bible's pretty clear on that. But I do think that we should do everything in our power to befriend, speak well of, and support Israel, because they are still His chosen people. Even when they weren't obeying Him, nothing good happened to those nations that attacked or oppressed them. So I REALLY want to get through to my son that it was ALL of our sin that killed Jesus. That we love His people because He loves them. And that we are all "bad people" until we are saved by Him.

By the time all of this went through my head - I think I sputtered something incoherent and indignant - his 4 year old brain had moved on. The "bad Jew" figured morphed into Queen Esther. (Huh?) I think we will have to have a talk about all this a little later, when he's not distracted by play-dough. But for now, I think I'm just grateful that he didn't come out with that in public!! ;-)

This is how I clean

Two hours ago, I decided I needed to send in the mortgage check, so I went to the kitchen counter in search of the checkbook. (Don't ask why it was on the kitchen counter - but I spotted it there several days ago.)

In the process of trying to find it, I noticed that there was a big pile of junk all over the counter, so I sorted through that and found some sewing supplies and some books that I needed to take back to the office.

In the process of putting those things away in the office, I realized that there was now room in the trashcan for the pile of things I was throwing away in my attempt to clean out the office, so I dragged the trashcan around and started throwing it away. Then I saw some trash outside in the yard and went to throw that away. Then I spotted some clothes that the kids had left outside that had gotten all muddy, so I took them into the laundry room to put them into the hamper to wash them.

Then I realized the laundry room floor was completely covered with dirty clothes, trash, and spilled oxi-clean powder, so I swept up all the trash and picked up the pile of clothes to wash. I had to switch over the laundry in order to put the dirty clothes in, so I carried the clean clothes into the living room to fold.

Then I remembered that I had been going to mop the laundry room floor, so I went to the kitchen to fill u p the bucket and realized that the sink was full of dirty dishes from lunch. I washed them and put them in the dishwasher and started it, then realized I hadn't picked anything out for dinner. I went to the freezer to look, only to discover that I had forgotten to tell Robert to buy any hamburger at the store....but that reminded me that I had remembered to buy lightbulbs.

So I went back to the laundry room to get the lightbulbs, noticing on the way that I still hadn't finished the laundry room floor, but I was focused on lightbulbs now, so I got my bulbs and went to the bathroom to replace the lightbulbs. Then I saw that Joseph had never finished cleaning the bathroom, so I called him and got him working on it again, showing him how to do it right. Replaced the lightbulb, which reminded me of two more lamps that needed replacing, so I went to do those. One of them worked but the other one didn't fit, so I went back to the laundry room to find the right size.

While I was reaching up into the cabinet I noticed that there was a big pile of fish supplies (HOW long ago did we throw away our fish tank?!) on top of the dryer, so I took those out to the trashcan to throw them away. While I was outside I went to check the mail, and that reminded me that I needed to send in the mortgage check. I went back in the house. The mortgage check is still sitting on the counter....

Don't judge. One day you will have a house and four small children and then you, too, will be crazy!

UPDATE: I finally mopped the laundry room floor. It is the only clean room in the house. "Clean" being hereto defined as "I mopped the floor."

It works!

My mom lent me a book called "How to encourage your husband" which has a lot of practical advice on things you can do to, well, encourage your husband! I spent a good bit of time yesterday reading it - because that's what I do...you give me a book and I pretty much have to read it straight through in every bit of spare time I possess! But this time I think I should have controlled myself and only read one chapter at a time, because it made me depressed and overwhelmed thinking about all the things I was doing wrong and all the things I had to work on! ;-) However, I am very glad I read it, and I decided to try putting a few of the things in practice. I feel like Robert and I have kind of struggled to be close lately, mainly because he has been working so much that he is exhausted by the time he gets home and often falls straight asleep after dinner. And of course, with 4 little kids, its hard to manage a date night! And to my shame, I have often given him lots of grief about how late he works and how much he's gone. Who wouldn't want to come home to a nagging and grumpy wife, after all? Oy.

So yesterday I typed up a list of 10 things I love about him and sent it to him, just trying to encourage him. I guess the women who wrote this book know what they were talking about, because he came home (no, not any earlier) in a really good mood, was extremely sweet to all of us, had family dinner, and told me I looked like I'd lost weight! ;-) Huzzah! This stuff works! Whether it was true or not, it sure made ME feel better. Haha.

So after dinner, we were in need of groceries and Robert offered to keep the kids and let me go to the store with just the baby. With only one car and 4 little kids, I don't get out of the house very often, so I jumped at the chance. I spent almost 2 hours shopping because, since I'm not able to go that often, I try to buy everything I might ever possibly need each time I go! And since I was feeling so good about the evening, and still had the influence of the book on my mind, I put back a cute sweater that came with a belt that I had been wanting and was going to buy, and instead I bought Robert a t-shirt that said "No Mistletoe Required" for Christmas! ;-) I thought he'd like it. Don't worry, he doesn't actually read my blog, so he'll still be surprised. (But he's only allowed to wear it when I'm around! Don't want any of those other women to get any ideas!) I was feeling pretty good about things when I got home around 10:00 to find Robert fast asleep, the kids still up, and with all the groceries to unload and put away by myself. Oops. Well, they say circumstances are the true test of character. I did NOT wake up Robert, yell at him, and make him put the kids to bed. I may have thought some things that were not entirely loving or respectful while I put the kids to bed and put all the groceries away, but I really did try to work on my attitude, and I wasn't mad by the time I went to bed. After all, the poor guy was tired.

This morning Robert got all ready for work and, instead of leaving, he came back to bed to hug me and tell me that he felt like the richest man in the world! Wow. I am reading this book EVERY DAY! We had coffee and breakfast together and talked for a while before he had to leave for work. I am feeling so blessed by the past 24 hours. I know this doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect from the moment on, but its so neat to see the way encouragement reinforces itself to both people - the more love you show to someone, the more you receive in return! I also know that it's up to me to do the right thing even if I don't get any response back. But I am definitely grateful that I have such a sweet and godly husband who does encourage me. God knows what He's talking about!

Desperately in love...again...

I have a confession to make: I have never liked babies. It sounds terrible, but it's true. I liked kids once they were old enough to talk and play and interact, but I always thought babies were rather boring. They just cried and slept and lay there...they didn't do anything. And they kind of all looked alike. With 4 younger siblings,
I spent a lot of time around babies and babysat a lot, but I never was really a "baby person." I believe at one point I even swore I was never having any!

When I was pregnant with Joseph, my first baby, I was actually really worried that I wouldn't like him. I was excited about having a child but I thought I would just have to endure the baby phase until he was old enough to be interesting. Everyone kept reassuring me that I would love MY baby once he was here, but I was afraid they were wrong, and I felt secretly guilty over it. Well, of course they were right and I was wrong. I feel deeply and completely in love with this 9 pounds of baby boy and never got over it! I wouldn't leave him at all, with anyone, and I didn't really even like to let other people hold him. I had to take a grad school final that I'd missed while giving birth to him about a month after he was born, and it almost killed me to leave him for those 2 hours. Robert had to come to UNM with me and hold Joseph in my office while I took the final so I could see him the very moment I was done, and I couldn't concentrate too well because I kept thinking about my baby while I was supposed to be writing...I had been planning to go back to grad school after taking a semester off, but that final convinced me otherwise. I was never leaving my baby again!

Joseph as a baby

When James came along, only 14 months after Joseph, I didn't feel ready for another baby. I loved Joseph so much that I worried I wouldn't be able to love James as much. Once again, silly me, I was proven quite wrong. I fell in love all over again with James...but I still loved my toddler Joseph every bit as much. It was like those commercials for Double Mint gum: "double your pleasure, double your fun!" Two babies to play with, two babies to obsess over and worry about and adore.

James as a baby

 When Gabriella was born, it was easier. I knew I would love her just as much, and I was REALLY excited to have a girl simply because I hadn't had one yet. Everything was so different with her because she WAS a girl - it was all new and exciting. Pink clothes and ruffles and tiny dresses...oh my! I was in heaven.

Gabriella as a baby

But when Elora was born, I worried again (can you tell I'm a worrier?!), not that I wouldn't love her, but that I wouldn't be so excited. We'd already had boy and girl babies, so there wouldn't be anything new there. Fourth baby in five years....everything had already been done. We knew exactly what to expect; how could there be any more surprises? Well, you'd think I'd learn, considering how often I had been wrong! Her very birth was a surprise - with a quick, quick labor and extremely easy delivery, right into the hands of her waiting Daddy, since nobody, including the midwives, got there in time!

and...Elora!

 It was such a sweet and perfect moment, just the three of us, and I have the fondest memories of Elora's birth out of all of them! There were a few rocky months in getting adjusted to having 4 - as I discuss in this post - but mostly that was because of the older kids. Elora  was my favorite because she couldn't destroy anything yet! ;-)

To my relief, my fears of not being as taken with this fourth baby were groundless - I am every bit as crazy about her as I was about all the others! 6 months old, she is so sweet and chubby and fun. Our favorite nickname for her is "Elorable" because she IS! She is so interested in everything her big brothers and sister are doing that she will sit and stare at them for hours. She wants SO badly to participate in everything that she is scooting/army crawling across the floor and grabbing things off the table. Her enormous smile is punctuated by her two little teeth that finally popped through. She can stand up holding onto things and I wouldn't be surprised if she just started walking one of these days and skipped crawling all together. I love her differently - but every bit as much - as each of my other children.

It is such an amazing thing to me that you can love 4 children - and one husband - SO much that they are all the most important person in the world to you...at the same time. Love is the only thing that multiplies when you divide it. (I like this kind of math!) I think I have finally learned this lesson and I will not have to worry if I have another baby - or even if I have 10 more babies! I know that I will fall in love with each and every one of them.

There for a reason

Dear female friends,
(if you're a guy, keep on walking - this post ain't for you!)

Go look at yourself in the mirror. Yes, I mean it. Are you standing in front of it? Good. Now open your eyes. Yes, both of them! Now take a good long look at your hips. Yes, I'm serious! Don't panic - of course you should skip that questionable waistline area. Really, look at your hips. Those nice wide sturdy hips. And now admire them! You think I'm being mean and sarcastic. I'm really not! Promise!

And now, if you have ever given birth, gives those wide hips a pat and say "thank you!" Because you KNOW it would have hurt EVEN WORSE if not for those things! Be grateful. IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.

If you're a young lady who's not yet given birth, admire your wide hips in anticipation. Just wait. You will be SO grateful for them someday.

And if you're a gal with narrow hips...well...I'm not really sure what to say to you. Except...I'm sorry, girl. You got gypped. More kegel exercises, maybe?

And if you're a guy...ha! Caught you! You're still reading, are you? Brave man. Go out and marry a wife with wide hips. Then tell her how beautiful her hips are. She will thank you someday.

  

Costume parade...

As I mentioned before, this year's kind of the first year we really planned to do anything for Halloween. And, as it turned out, we didn't actually really do anything different! We were going to go to a "trunk-or-treat" event at a local church, but Robert had to work late, and we found out later that it had a lot of scary stuff, so I'm glad we didn't! Instead we dressed the kids in their costumes, had a nice dinner at home, watched a movie together, and ate way too much candy! It was a fun night just to spend together as a family, and I got to dress up the kids and (attempt) to take their pictures! They also got to wear their costumes to Awana on Sunday night because it was "dress up" night, and Robert and I were filling in for some teachers who were absent, so we brought the girls along too.

So here they are:

Cinderella:

Prince Charming:

Bruno, the dog:

and the little mouse:

Here's the only picture I could get with all four of them together:

And then James got bored and left...

I tried very hard to get a picture of Cinderella running away from Prince Charming, while he holds her slipper and calls "wait!" This is what I got instead:

(please ignore the big piles of dishes in the background. We had to take photos in the kitchen because that's the only room with good overhead lighting. As you can tell, I spent the week sewing, not cleaning.)

Finally, here's one of the Prince fitting Cinderella's slipper on her foot. I think it's my favorite!

I love the demure little expression on her face. She likes having her brother kneeling at her feet WAY too much! ;-)

Cinderella was a big hit. Next year I think we'll go for something simpler though! Whew! I'm tired of sewing.

My four favorite things

Yep. There they are. All smiling for once!

And if you'd seen what they did to my house with paint, and then with sopapilla mix and jam, you would know just how generous and forgiving I'm being with this post.

Cuteness: God's way of ensuring children survive until adulthood.

CORRECTION:
I take it all back. After publishing this post, I discovered that the kids had gotten into the paint and painted the walls of their bathroom. Cuteness will not save them this time. They are soooo dead!

Bad Poetry

Last night I stayed up way too late reading some old journals, Bible study notes, and letters that I found in a box of stuff from before I was married. And one of the things I discovered was a "travel notebook" that I wrote in during car trips to pass the time. If you ever want a really good laugh, read something you wrote as a child! It was highly amusing to see my 12-year-old perspective on life.

On several of the pages were "poems" that I had written...or attempted. Let me just say that while I have been told by other people that I am a good writer, I am NOT good at poetry. Prose has always been my strong suit, but for some reason I keep attempting poetry because writers are supposed to be able to write poems! I am too embarassed to show you any of the poems that I still secretly think have some merit, but these are so terrible, so ridiculous, and so silly that I am willing to sell out my 12-year-old self by posting them. So here you go - feel free to laugh. I did!

Complete with original spelling and punctuation:

"Give me an ear,
so I can tell,
the story of Bob,
who loves to fish,
but he hates to clean um
cause the head's smell
like a rotten egg."

"Flowers here, flowers there,
flowers, flowers....no! I won't say it!
the petels all fell off
so now the flowers cry
for they are most ashamed
because they must admit
only their feathers are fine."

There's a chance Daniella may have written this one, but I will go ahead and post it anyway just so she can share in the fun:
"A woman lives in a lake
her story she will not tell
but I know her cookies taste well
when she does remember to bake."

and finally (please don't forget to breathe through your laughter)

"though I could sail the world around,
visit grand and wondros places,
yet one thing in all would lack,
for I'd miss familiar faces.

the greatness of London,
is dwarfed by my father's heart,
now beautiful are Paris and Venice,
yet compared to my mother they aren't.

However exotic or amusing,
you may find the Taj Mahal,
yet what can compete with my siblings,
of course nothing at all!

And the animals that perform,
in India or Japan,
surely don't love me as well,
as my own cats and dogs can.

So when you consider all..."

And here the poem trails off out of sheer disgust.

Glad to have provided amusement for you today. My 12-year-old self is hiding somewhere with her head in the sand.

Halloween?

It's October, which means you can't go anywhere without being accosted by all manner of creepy-looking paraphernalia: skeletons, ghosts, vampires, tombstones, leering pumpkins, and *shudder* spiders, among other things. Some people (ahem...our neighbors) have even gone so far as to start decorating their houses with "Halloween lights," a garish orange parody of the Christmas lights I love so much. I hate taking my children to the store during this month because I don't want them too see all the horrible decorations and costumes. However, I am kind of conflicted about Halloween as a whole.

Growing up, my family never celebrated Halloween. No costumes, no trick or treating, no parties. Usually my mom would buy a bag of candy, just in case any neighbor kids stopped by (which, living in the East Mountains, they usually didn't!) and let us eat a couple of pieces. Once or twice we went to "Fall Carnivals" thrown at churches, and I seem to remember one where we all dressed up as Bible characters. (I must have been about 6 because I remember I wore an old pillowcase and was Miriam and my brother Isaac was Moses and Mom put him in a basket.) Usually we celebrated "Reformation Day" instead, because as any good homeschooling kid knows, Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses of protest against the Catholic church to the door of the church in Wittenburg on October 31, 1517.

I understand the reasons why my parents chose not to celebrate Halloween, and I respected them, even though I felt (and still feel) that it was highly unfair that Satan had stolen the holiday of dress up and candy, two of my favorite things! Once I hit my twenties, my sister and I dressed up in our homemade Renaissance costumes and went out with friends to dinner on Halloween a few times. But now that I have kids who are old enough to actually notice, Halloween has become an issue I have to deal with.

My husband came from a Christian, Bible-believing family who had a different approach to Halloween. Their kids always dressed up and went trick-or-treating. For the first few years we had kids, we'd talk about what we believed about Halloween, but we never really had to decide because they were too little to really do anything. We dressed them in their Batman and Superman and Pooh bear pajamas, just because it was cute, and we passed out candy to the neighbor kids. But this year they are getting older and we still haven't decided on a strong conviction one way or the other.

I believe that there are many aspects of Halloween that definitely ARE wrong and demonic. I don't approve of all the ugly and scary things, simply because I don't think they are edifying or glorifying to God, and I wouldn't let my kids dress up like them or decorate our house with them. But I admit I don't see anything inherently wrong with dressing up in costumes. Or eating candy! I don't want my kids to go trick-or-treating because I don't feel like it's safe, and somehow it seems rude to me to ask other people for candy! Especially because they would certainly never be allowed to "trick" someone who doesn't give it to them!

This year Robert decided we should go to the "trunk or treat" event that's being held at a nearby church. And I am making all the costumes. Gabriella's favorite movie is Cinderella, and the boys like it a lot too, so we are all going to be characters from Cinderella. Gabriella will be Cinderella, of course, and I have already started working on her dress. Elora will be one of the mice, and Joseph will be Prince Charming, and James will be Bruno, the dog (because honestly, that is who James likes best! ;-) And if I get around to it, I will be the fairy godmother and Robert will be the Grand Duke.

 I love sewing costumes, and I am really excited about making them for my kids. As for the whole "Halloween Issue," we may just have to take it on a year-by-year basis. Ultimately we will do whatever Robert thinks is best, because he's the boss of this house! ;-) There is no specific Bible verse that says whether or not to celebrate Halloween...but there is one that says "wives, submit to your husbands." And I trust him to make a good decision because I know he listens to The Boss.

What about you? Do you celebrate Halloween? Why or why not?        

I feel sorry for my grandchildren...

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge, we are not having a new baby, at least at this moment. Elora is only 5 months old!

Not quite sure why or how, but somehow Joseph and I were talking about baby names today. (I think I mentioned putting away a certain toy that Elora had outgrown in case another baby came, and his imagination took it from there) Here are Joseph's suggestions for names for the new baby (that we are currently not having):

- Joseph (I tried to explain things might get kind of confusing with 2 Josephs around, but its nice to know he wants to share everything, even his name)

Jack-and-the-beanstalk (yes, the whole thing)

- Banana

- A-heart (if its a girl)

and finally

- God.


In other news, I broke my crockpot today. Tears and sadness. ;-( Stupid Monday.

P.S. Did I mention I'm NOT pregnant?? Just want to kill that one before the rumor mills get ahold of it. Although I currently know 7 women who are. I'm starting to feel a bit left out. I think my chocolate intake is up just out of sympathy. ;-)

What's in a namesake?

My children are always fascinated by where their names come from, so this morning when the angel Gabriel came up, I mentioned to Gabriella the origins of her name.

"Gabriella, did you know that YOU were named after an angel?" I said.

She grinned and nodded. "Uh-huh," she said matter-of-factly. "Grammie!"

Well, there you have it. Out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom! ;-)
(and the funny part is, she IS named after my mom - her middle name is Jayne.)

My new favorite verse

Monday is always a dreaded day in my house, not because of the return of school, but because of the mess. Despite having the better portion of the house all clean on Fridays, by Monday morning it is evident that we did not keep up with chores over the weekend. Usually we are too busy either doing house projects (and then not cleaning up from them) or running errands or going places or just sitting on the couch out of sheer exhaustion. This weekend was inlucded all of the above! Friday night my brother came over for dinner; Saturday we bought the materials to fix the shed, went shopping, and then saw my parents briefly on their way home from Austria; Sunday we went to church, drove up to Dixon's apple farm to buy apples, and took the boys to Awama. Needless to say, last night was the "exhaustion" phase!
So this morning, our house looks like this.

(oh, sorry, you couldn't see the picture? That's because my camera broke through sheer disgust when I snapped it...)
`
BUT last night I was reading in Proverbs (as a mom, I ALWAYS feel in need of wisdom!) and I came across Probers 14:4:

"Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox."

Now, at face value this verse may not seem very relevent, but I will show you just how relevent it is to my life as a mom!

When someone builds a barn, they don't finish it and look back and say "wow. What a lovely barn! I think I won't put any animals in it because they will just mess it up!" That would be ridiculous. A barn is a tool - it has the important function of sheltering animals from the weather and predators so they can eat and sleep in safetly. Are barns usually spotless? Nope! Animals are pretty messy. But the farmer is concerned with how useful the animal is to him and how much wealth and food he can generate through raising them either for market or to work on his farm. Nobody wants a nice clean barn with no oxen in it!

Not to compare my children with animals, but I see the same principle can be applied in my own life. If I had no children, my house could be spotless. Robert and I used to be able to clean our entire apartment in one hour - and that was after neglecting it for a week! Having children definitely multiplies the mess by a LOT! And usually, they can mess it up faster than I can clean. They do outnumber me 4 to 1!

But the verse about the oxen made me realize that the clean house is only a means, not an end. It's not the goal. Raising my children to be godly men and women who serve the Lord with all their strength is the goal! I need to stop getting so caught up in seeing a clean house as the mark of success and be more concerned with their education, growth, and strength - both physical and spiritual. The verse says that oxen bring much "revenue" through their strength. The KJV uses the word "increase." Not that we are expecting our children to make money for us (although I do hope they take care of me in my old age!) but "increase" in a spiritual sense - that they "enlarge" the kingdom of God with their strength and their work.

Now, I am not trying to use this verse as an excuse not to clean my house! (although sometimes I wish...) I actually enjoy having a clean house, and I think it makes the home much more pleasant and relaxed when it is clean. And just as there is a health component to a farmer mucking out the oxen's stalls, there is definitely a health component of keeping your house reasonably clean too! But I have to remind myself that it is the means, not the end. It's a building to shelter and feed my children and keep them safe while raising them to do God's work. I must confesss that many times I have put them in front of a movie or send them to play in their rooms so I can get the cleaning done. At the end of the day, I have a clean house...but I have missed the most important part of spending time with my children. Yikes. So I have posted this verse on my fridge to remind myself not to resent the messiness or the children who made it, but to remember the goal.

And fortunately, despite the comparison, children are unlike oxen in that they can be trained to clean up some portion of their own mess! 

My craft attempt

Yesterday I went to a baby shower for my friend Arielei's forthcoming new baby girl! It was loads of fun, although it did make me feel really old! Arielei was in the very first drama class I ever taught, and she was a freshman that year. A few years later I went to her graduation, and then to her wedding, and now she is having a baby! It's crazy...but also exciting! She and her husband Nathan are having a little baby girl, and naming her Eliana which I think is so pretty! (A little like Elora...which I also think is pretty, obviously, because I named my own daughter that! ;-)

So on Saturday I was getting together a baby present for her, and I suddenly thought "Gee, I wish I'd thought of this earlier so I could make her something!" Oops. I always think of that way too late. But I had a few materials and decided to see what I could come up with at the last minute. Soo...I had this skirt which was too small, and I cut off the waistband elastic and sewed a new waistband to make the skirt fit better, but for some reason I saved the elastic waistband and the extra fabric. (yes, I'm a pack rat. It's indisputable and it drives my husband crazy...but he knew it when he married me!)

It came to me suddenly that this stretchy waistband, still covered in pretty fabric, would be a perfect baby headband! So I measured it using Elora's head, cut it, made a circle, and hot-glued it together to form the headband. When I cut it, I left a tiny amount of the skirt fabric attached to the waistband on one side to form a ruffle. Then I followed the instructions that Daniella had showed me, which she learned from this blog, for making a fabric rose out of the matching fabric, and then I hot glued it to the headband (burning my finger quite badly in the process. I am incapable of using a hot glue gun without burning myself). It came out pretty cute, kind of shabby-chic, although next time I think I'll try sewing it together because I suspect this one will fall apart pretty easily. But I was in a hurry and couldn't find a needle.

I couldn't get a very good picture because my camera is broken ;-( and I took this one with my phone, but you get the idea. (Don't ask me why there's a stick of butter in the background.) It was white fabric with little blue flowers and green leaves. I think I will try this again next time someone has a baby! All you need is an old skirt waistband and a little fabric!

Curriculum of Exhaustion

Last night all 4 kids kept Mama up with various issues: Joseph had a bad cough, Jamie's stomach hurt because he got into gluten, Gabriella's fear of the dark had her crawling in with me, and Elora was teething. You could fill a thimble with the amount of sleep I actually got. (Yes I know that metaphor doesn't make sense...it just shows how tired I am.) Thus, school today has been conducted in a rather...unorthodox fashion:

Bible: Veggie Tales
Music Appreciation: Fantasia
Science: Magic School Bus
Reading: WordWorld
Literature: Gnomeo and Juliet
Social Studies: Cinderella
er...Interpersonal Relations: Winnie the Pooh


Please don't turn me in to the Board of Education. Hopefully tonight we'll sleep and tomorrow we'll do better!

Re: your behavior today

September 13, 2011

Dear Voss Children,

Due to your recent decisions to use them as weapons of mess/destruction, the following food items are now banned substances in this household:

- cereal

- orange juice

- ice cream

These will be added to the list of all banned substances under the heading "food." For a complete list, refer to the empty containers in the garbage can or just lick the floor.

Keep this up and you will be reduced to eating nothing but brussel sprouts.

Love,

Mama

P.S. Oh yes, and thank you SO much for waking up the baby. I have no words to express how much I appreciate that.

Reason #128 to have lots of children

Today I was attempting to do dishes when Gabriella fell down and hurt herself...again. Not that I'm not sympathetic...it's just that she falls down and hurts herself (in minor ways) A LOT and she's kind of a drama queen about it, screaming and crying and acting like the world is at an end. So when it happened today, I must admit I mentally said "Oh no...no again" as she came running toward me wailing at top volume.

But then, something happened. Elora, who was standing up playing in her exosaucer toy, caught Gabriella's eye and smiled a huge smile at her. Gabriella immediately stopped crying, said "Oh. Baby," and went to play with her sister like that had been her plan all along, forgetting all about the fact that she was "gravely injured." I smiled and went back to my dishes.

See why you should have lots of children? They distract each other from remembering their injuries.