My deepest, darkest secret...

Everybody has secrets. Mine are just of a more petty nature than most people's.

For instance: did you know that I have secret hiding places all over the house? And that these hiding places contain...no, not skeletons. Something even more shocking. Gluten.


Yep, that's right. Robert and I are closet gluten eaters. (Literally. As in, we have to hide it in the closet. And eat it there. So the kids don't find out.) See, we tried the whole gluten free thing. We put a good face on it in front of the kids, and we still eat gluten free in all our meals as a family. But Robert and I were dreaming about gluten o'nights, our mouths watering in our sleep. After being "on the sauce" (as Robert jokingly refers to it when James gets hopped up on gluten) our whole lives, we just can't give up "real" bread entirely. So, after the kids go to bed at night, we bring out our secret stash.

The trouble is, the kids are getting better at finding our hiding places. Once they've discovered one and we've suffered through a couple unhappy days of hyperactivity and runny diapers, I have to come up with a better hiding place. (Or we could buy a safe, and put it all in there. Along with the apples because the kids eat about 6 of those per day. But I have a feeling the kids would take up safe-cracking just to get at it.)


So yesterday, I had a bunch of egg whites I needed to use up before they spoiled, and the best thing to make with egg whites is a home made angel food cake. It's (pardon my terrible pun) heavenly.

I learned how to make it when Joseph was about 6 months old, because babies aren't supposed to have egg whites until they are at least a year old, since that is the part of the egg that most people are allergic to. Baby Joseph would eat 3-4 egg yolks at a time, so we kept accumulating the whites, and I discovered that once I had saved up a jar of them, I could make an angel food cake. It was our tradition for the first three kids but then the whole gluten free-thing threw a wrench in the plans, so I haven't made any for quite a while.

Anyway...I had a jar saved from Elora's egg yolks, and I had to use them, and I just didn't have the guts to try a gluten free angel food cake and possibly waste all those eggs. So I made it the regular way, and it turned out {heavenly} but then I had a dilemma on my hands. Where to hide this glorious confectionery danger so the kids wouldn't get into it? I had tried closets, the laundry room, locked cabinets, inside pots and pans...all had eventually been discovered. Then it hit me...the perfect place...the place they would never look.

Yes, that is an empty filing cabinet drawer. Feel free to applaud my genius. It takes a special kind to be a mama.


P.S. I realize one could get the impression from reading my blog that the only thing I ever do it bake cakes. (or cookies, or brownies...) However, that is not the case! (Although I probably do bake more often than is good for me...) It's just that baked goods are one of my few domestic accomplishments, so I blog about them more often than, say, my stamp collection (nonexistant) or my hand-embroidered throw pillows (ha!). There was this post about a baby headband. Or this one about Halloween costumes. But be honest - the cakes really do look the best, right? ;-)

You picked the WRONG car, buddy

Our car was broken into this morning was Robert was at the gym. Someone smashed the front windshield and discovered (to their dismay, I'm sure) that there was absolutely nothing in our car worth stealing. The only thing they took? Two packages sitting on the front seat that I had given to Robert to mail for me, since his office is right next to the post office.

I have to admit, I really wish I could be there to see the thief's face when he opens the packages. You see, he got away with a $20 bra I was returning and a braid of hair I was sending to Locks of Love after my haircut! I have a feeling he's going to be quite disappointed. Unless, of course, the thief is a woman. A bald woman who happens to wear my exact bra size. If that's the case, she's welcome to them. Finding the right size bra is so difficult that I can understand the desperation of breaking into someone's car for it - I am almost tempted myself! ;-) On the other hand, the thief stole hair. For making wigs. For children with cancer. He should be SO ashamed of himself!

While having our car broken into is really annoying and costs us time and money, I can see a lot of blessings in this situation. Robert usually takes his expensive laptop to work, but for some reason today he didn't. I took most of the carseats out last night - not that anyone would probably take them, but if they did, it would cost us $400 to replace them all! Even the packages - usually our packages consist of expensive computer parts for his company Robert is exchanging. Also, there was some mix-up with our insurance that we just recently discovered and straightened out; otherwise it would have been cancelled. So overall I am just very thankful that we didn't have anything worth stealing!

(Also, I can say I have something in common with Rapunzel. We both have people trying to steal our hair!)

Bad Poetry

Last night I stayed up way too late reading some old journals, Bible study notes, and letters that I found in a box of stuff from before I was married. And one of the things I discovered was a "travel notebook" that I wrote in during car trips to pass the time. If you ever want a really good laugh, read something you wrote as a child! It was highly amusing to see my 12-year-old perspective on life.

On several of the pages were "poems" that I had written...or attempted. Let me just say that while I have been told by other people that I am a good writer, I am NOT good at poetry. Prose has always been my strong suit, but for some reason I keep attempting poetry because writers are supposed to be able to write poems! I am too embarassed to show you any of the poems that I still secretly think have some merit, but these are so terrible, so ridiculous, and so silly that I am willing to sell out my 12-year-old self by posting them. So here you go - feel free to laugh. I did!

Complete with original spelling and punctuation:

"Give me an ear,
so I can tell,
the story of Bob,
who loves to fish,
but he hates to clean um
cause the head's smell
like a rotten egg."

"Flowers here, flowers there,
flowers, flowers....no! I won't say it!
the petels all fell off
so now the flowers cry
for they are most ashamed
because they must admit
only their feathers are fine."

There's a chance Daniella may have written this one, but I will go ahead and post it anyway just so she can share in the fun:
"A woman lives in a lake
her story she will not tell
but I know her cookies taste well
when she does remember to bake."

and finally (please don't forget to breathe through your laughter)

"though I could sail the world around,
visit grand and wondros places,
yet one thing in all would lack,
for I'd miss familiar faces.

the greatness of London,
is dwarfed by my father's heart,
now beautiful are Paris and Venice,
yet compared to my mother they aren't.

However exotic or amusing,
you may find the Taj Mahal,
yet what can compete with my siblings,
of course nothing at all!

And the animals that perform,
in India or Japan,
surely don't love me as well,
as my own cats and dogs can.

So when you consider all..."

And here the poem trails off out of sheer disgust.

Glad to have provided amusement for you today. My 12-year-old self is hiding somewhere with her head in the sand.