I had a big epiphany while doing my Bible study (which, to be honest, has taken me about 3 weeks to complete one week's lesson...but hey, I decided to just do it anyway!). Anyway, the study's called
Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed, and it's about the life of King David, and how God specifically chose him to be king over Israel and used everything in his life to prepare him for that role. Today's lesson was talking about how God has specific callings on each of our lives, and asked us to write down two specific "missions" He had called us to. At first I felt kind of pathetic trying to write this down. See, I used to have a lot more "activities" in my life - drama, music, school, church, etc - but slowly as I've had more children - and less cars, specifically,
one! - those things have been whittled away. So the only two "missions" I could come up with were being a wife to Robert and being a mother to my four kids.
On a side note, it was kind of an epiphany in itself for me to realize that those are two different jobs. Since my oldest was born, I have always kind of thought of the two jobs as one thing: "I'm a wife-and-mother." But there is an important distinction between the two, and I realized it's a mistake for me to lump them together in my mind. My job as a wife is outwardly related to my job as mother (i.e. I do cooking, and laundy, and cleaning, etc for my husband AND for my kids) but they are two very different roles. I should not be lumping my husband in with "the kids" in my mind. I think it causes problems when I start to think of my marriage as PART of raising the kids - subconsciously I end up treating my husband like one of the kids and expecting that I can change his behavior or "teach" him the way I do the children. And that does NOT go over well, let me tell you! Any way....back to the main epiphany.
The only people I interact with on a regular basis are my husband and kids, and I was starting to feel pretty badly about this. Not because I don't love them or think being a wife and mother is important, but as if I were somehow failing in the "good Christian witness" category. When I was in school, I was able to argue in defense of Christianity, to witness to my teachers and fellow students. When I taught drama, I had a big influence in the lives of my students, their parents, and even the audiences who came to see the plays. I used to go to Bible studies at church, but with four little kids and husband who's always working, it just doesn't seem feasible. I feel like somehow I am holed up at home not doing "enough" for God. Should I be seeking out more opportunities? Should I go door to door Jehovah's Witness style, talking to my neighbors? (And who is going to watch my kids while I do that?)
But then as I started to write down my two callings - wife to Robert, and mother to my kids - the study asked me to write who would be affected by my witness and influence to them. And I started to think about it. It's not just 4 people who are being influenced when I teach my kids. It's THEIR spouses, THEIR kids, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON they will interact with in their lives. How will my children know how to raise THEIR children in the truth if I fail in my own responsibility?
And what about my husband? I often feel I work as hard, maybe even harder than him, at all the little things around the house, but my contributions don't count for much. I don't earn any money. I don't have any reputation among his clients or grow his business; heck, most people probably have no idea who I am, just that vague mention of "Robert's wife." But I began to see - or God began to show me - that if Robert and I are married, are "one flesh" like the Bible says, our contributions to the world and to His kingdom count as a team effort. I'm like the pit crew at a NASCAR event. Robert's the driver of the car. He's the one who crosses the finish line, who everyone sees and cheers for, with the name recognition and the glory. Nobody knows the names of the pit crew members, or really thinks about their contribution. (Okay, maybe a few crazy obsessed people do...but they have too much time on their hands!) But if there was no one to put gas in the car, to change the tires, to give the driver a drink, or check the...uh...pistons, or something (you see how much I know about NASCAR? It's cars. That go around in a circle. Like 400 times...that's all I know!)...anyway, without the support and maintenance of the pit crew, the driver would never be able to succeed.
Maybe my role isn't noticeable, or glamorous, or appreciated by the world or even sometimes the church. But every success that Robert achieves is MY success too. And I don't mean just in an earthy sense, but an eternal one. When he gains a good reputation for integrity, in part because he is able to come home and talk to me about how to stay honest in a cutthroat world, I get credit for that too. When he works as the chairman of the board for a Christian non-profit agency, while I have to stay home and feed the kids and put them to bed by myself, I am helping every person that his agency helps, too. Every person who sees my husband in the world and notices something different about him, that he is able to talk to or share with or influence for Christ - I am a part of that "ministry." (And vice versa - he gets credit for the things that I do here, like Bible study with the kids or teaching them their schoolwork, and yes, the diaper changing too! :-) Our family as a unit is a witness to the world, and Robert and I as a team are building Christ's Kingdom. It doesn't always seem like it - in fact, it doesn't OFTEN seem like it. It's very easy to get bogged down in the mundane, day-to-day cycle of cooking, cleaning, laundry, changing, bathing, teaching, etc. None of those things much
feels like they matter at any given moment. I don't see a lot of forward progress through my daily efforts, but I think the mistake comes in thinking of it as "my job" and "my credit" vs. "his job" and "his credit." Both of us are working on the SAME thing, but from different angles. That's what teamwork means, right? Cause when Team Unser wins the Indy 500 (is that different from NASCAR? whatever...they're all racecars that go around in circles, right?), it is the whole team that shares in the win, and when Team Voss succeeds in God's calling for our lives, as business owners, and parents, and followers of Christ, well, we all win as Christ is glorified.
So I'd like to leave you with two cliches that are nevertheless true and wrap up my thoughts rather nicely:
and
Note - I wrote this post about two months ago and for some reason never quite finished/posted it. So the epiphany is a little less fresh but the thought is still good, so I figured I go ahead and post it anyway! Especially because I've been so busy (or lazy) that I haven't posted anything in ages...
