Joseph, Gabriella, Julianna, James, and Elora

Joseph, Gabriella, Julianna, James, and Elora

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The 3 C's of great pumpkin pie

Thanksgiving food can be summed up in two words...two glorious words we wait all year to say:

PUMPKIN PIE!

Anyone who knows me knows I am crazy about anything with the word "pumpkin" in it. But pumpkin pie goes beyond that. It is a family tradition. If you're a Neal, you love pumpkin pie. (That weird Turner branch doesn't...but then, they're not Neals, are they?) My dad only likes two desserts, and pumpkin pie is the winter one (the summer one is homemade strawberry shortcake - homemade NEAL strawberry shortcake, which is different story altogether, but I'll save that for another post). We eat pumpkin pie for dessert, fighting over every scrap and licking the plate until its clean. (yes, there's a slight bit of exaggeration for effect here. But not as much as you'd think!) Then the morning after Thanksgiving, Mom pulls out the extra pumpkin pie she hid from the ravening hordes and we eat it for breakfast. That is what we do.

The baker of this all-important dish in our family? Yours truly. Now, I don't mean to brag because truthfully I am not a great cook, but I must say I have mastered the art of pumpkin pie. And if you want to know how to make a truly delightful pumpkin pie, all you have to do are follow the 3 C's of pumpkin pie baking:

1) Claim. You have to stake your claim as the only person capable of or ever allowed to bake pumpkin pie. You must do this as soon as you are old enough to bake without assistance. Make it clear that, because you are the oldest, it is your right, your privilege, and your responsibility to bake the pumpkin pies. This usually works because your younger brothers and sisters aren't old enough to bake. This gives you a chance to practice every year until you get really good at it. Now, after a few years, your brothers and sisters may have gotten older and started to protest. "Mom, how come she gets to bake the pumpkin pie? She's done it all these years. It's MY turn!" But fortunately, you have already established your claim. It is YOUR thing. "But Mom, I ALWAYS bake the pumpkin pie. It's my contribution to Thanksgiving! Don't you want me to help? Think of all the other things you have to do. And he/she won't do it right. You KNOW it's Dad's favorite..." This will work. (Usually.) Having established your prior claim, soon you will have everybody else in the family thinking that you are the only person who is capable of making truly perfect pumpkin pies, and with all your practice, it will probably be true!

2) Conviction. Once Claim is established, you must bake the pies with Conviction. You must believe in your Libby's Pumpkin Pie Recipe and stick to it - yet also not be afraid to add 1 teaspoon of nutmeg that the recipe does not call for. It will make a difference. You must have the Conviction to add that second can of evaporated milk even though the batter already looks runny enough and you are afraid it will be too thin if you add any more. You must have the Conviction that, although freshly pureed pumpkin and homemade evaporated milk may SEEM healthier, the pie really does need the canned stuff to reach it's optimum perfection. (It's only once a year!) And finally, most importantly, you must have the Conviction that your secret ingredient - your great-grandmother's pie crust recipe - will not fail you.

3) Courage. After you have made your batter and formed your pie shell with Conviction, you must finally have the Courage to pour it into the shell. The Courage to pour it even though your fear that the shell is too shallow and the filling too voluminous and it will pour all over the counter threatens to overwhelm you! Because if you can find that Courage - the Courage to fill it all the way to the top, no matter how precarious it may appear, you will have reached the optimum pie-to-filling ratio and, once that pie is baked and cooled and solid, you will have delicious pumpkin all the way up to the very top of the crust. (It also helps to have the Foresight to put a baking sheet under the pie in the oven so if it does happen to overflow, you don't have to clean burned pumpkin pie filling off your oven.) And finally, once that timer dings, you must have the Courage to pull it out, even if the center is a little wobbly, knowing beyond all doubt that it will firm up once it cools.

There you have it. The 3 C's of perfect pumpkin pie: Claim, Conviction, and Courage. Follow them and you, too, can master the Official Thanksgiving Dessert of the Neal Clan.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

You picked the WRONG car, buddy

Our car was broken into this morning was Robert was at the gym. Someone smashed the front windshield and discovered (to their dismay, I'm sure) that there was absolutely nothing in our car worth stealing. The only thing they took? Two packages sitting on the front seat that I had given to Robert to mail for me, since his office is right next to the post office.

I have to admit, I really wish I could be there to see the thief's face when he opens the packages. You see, he got away with a $20 bra I was returning and a braid of hair I was sending to Locks of Love after my haircut! I have a feeling he's going to be quite disappointed. Unless, of course, the thief is a woman. A bald woman who happens to wear my exact bra size. If that's the case, she's welcome to them. Finding the right size bra is so difficult that I can understand the desperation of breaking into someone's car for it - I am almost tempted myself! ;-) On the other hand, the thief stole hair. For making wigs. For children with cancer. He should be SO ashamed of himself!

While having our car broken into is really annoying and costs us time and money, I can see a lot of blessings in this situation. Robert usually takes his expensive laptop to work, but for some reason today he didn't. I took most of the carseats out last night - not that anyone would probably take them, but if they did, it would cost us $400 to replace them all! Even the packages - usually our packages consist of expensive computer parts for his company Robert is exchanging. Also, there was some mix-up with our insurance that we just recently discovered and straightened out; otherwise it would have been cancelled. So overall I am just very thankful that we didn't have anything worth stealing!

(Also, I can say I have something in common with Rapunzel. We both have people trying to steal our hair!)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Yikes, yikes yikes and...let me guess: you have a 'great personality'

The kids were sculpting with play-dough while I was making supper last night, and I was talking to them, asking what each of their little sculptures were. I have to admit I wasn't listening all that closely, with a lot of "mmm-hmms" and "oh, that's great" comments. Then Joseph informed me that he was making a person.
"That's nice, Joseph."
"A BAD person."
That got my attention. "A BAD person?" I said skeptically. "What kind of bad person?"
"A Jew," he replied.
I blinked, certain I had heard wrong. "Excuse me?"
"You know, a Jew. Like in the Bible."
Uh oh. "Joseph, WHY would you say Jews are bad people?" I demanded. I knew for a fact that this was NOT one of the lessons I'd taught him during Bible time.
He didn't miss a beat. "Because they killed Jesus," he said matter-of-factly as he smoothed his play-dough man.

Oh dear. What could I say to that? Totally factual and yet...I really didn't want to encourage this kind of blanket anti-semitism! Aaaahh! Why hasn't somebody written a parenting manual called "Awkward statements your children will make and how to answer them"! I could just see my son walking up to a perfect stranger in the grocery store and saying "Jews are bad people. They killed Jesus. Want to see my tattoo from the Aryan brotherhood?" Yikes. 

Wherever you fall in the "grafted in/cut off" theological debate, I have always believed that God still honors His "I will bless them that bless you and curse them that curse you" promise. Of course Jews, like all of us, are sinners and have to accept Christ to be saved. The Bible's pretty clear on that. But I do think that we should do everything in our power to befriend, speak well of, and support Israel, because they are still His chosen people. Even when they weren't obeying Him, nothing good happened to those nations that attacked or oppressed them. So I REALLY want to get through to my son that it was ALL of our sin that killed Jesus. That we love His people because He loves them. And that we are all "bad people" until we are saved by Him.

By the time all of this went through my head - I think I sputtered something incoherent and indignant - his 4 year old brain had moved on. The "bad Jew" figured morphed into Queen Esther. (Huh?) I think we will have to have a talk about all this a little later, when he's not distracted by play-dough. But for now, I think I'm just grateful that he didn't come out with that in public!! ;-)

Monday, November 14, 2011

This is how I clean

Two hours ago, I decided I needed to send in the mortgage check, so I went to the kitchen counter in search of the checkbook. (Don't ask why it was on the kitchen counter - but I spotted it there several days ago.)

In the process of trying to find it, I noticed that there was a big pile of junk all over the counter, so I sorted through that and found some sewing supplies and some books that I needed to take back to the office.

In the process of putting those things away in the office, I realized that there was now room in the trashcan for the pile of things I was throwing away in my attempt to clean out the office, so I dragged the trashcan around and started throwing it away. Then I saw some trash outside in the yard and went to throw that away. Then I spotted some clothes that the kids had left outside that had gotten all muddy, so I took them into the laundry room to put them into the hamper to wash them.

Then I realized the laundry room floor was completely covered with dirty clothes, trash, and spilled oxi-clean powder, so I swept up all the trash and picked up the pile of clothes to wash. I had to switch over the laundry in order to put the dirty clothes in, so I carried the clean clothes into the living room to fold.

Then I remembered that I had been going to mop the laundry room floor, so I went to the kitchen to fill u p the bucket and realized that the sink was full of dirty dishes from lunch. I washed them and put them in the dishwasher and started it, then realized I hadn't picked anything out for dinner. I went to the freezer to look, only to discover that I had forgotten to tell Robert to buy any hamburger at the store....but that reminded me that I had remembered to buy lightbulbs.

So I went back to the laundry room to get the lightbulbs, noticing on the way that I still hadn't finished the laundry room floor, but I was focused on lightbulbs now, so I got my bulbs and went to the bathroom to replace the lightbulbs. Then I saw that Joseph had never finished cleaning the bathroom, so I called him and got him working on it again, showing him how to do it right. Replaced the lightbulb, which reminded me of two more lamps that needed replacing, so I went to do those. One of them worked but the other one didn't fit, so I went back to the laundry room to find the right size.

While I was reaching up into the cabinet I noticed that there was a big pile of fish supplies (HOW long ago did we throw away our fish tank?!) on top of the dryer, so I took those out to the trashcan to throw them away. While I was outside I went to check the mail, and that reminded me that I needed to send in the mortgage check. I went back in the house. The mortgage check is still sitting on the counter....


Don't judge. One day you will have a house and four small children and then you, too, will be crazy!

UPDATE: I finally mopped the laundry room floor. It is the only clean room in the house. "Clean" being hereto defined as "I mopped the floor."

Thursday, November 10, 2011

It works!

My mom lent me a book called "How to encourage your husband" which has a lot of practical advice on things you can do to, well, encourage your husband! I spent a good bit of time yesterday reading it - because that's what I do...you give me a book and I pretty much have to read it straight through in every bit of spare time I possess! But this time I think I should have controlled myself and only read one chapter at a time, because it made me depressed and overwhelmed thinking about all the things I was doing wrong and all the things I had to work on! ;-) However, I am very glad I read it, and I decided to try putting a few of the things in practice. I feel like Robert and I have kind of struggled to be close lately, mainly because he has been working so much that he is exhausted by the time he gets home and often falls straight asleep after dinner. And of course, with 4 little kids, its hard to manage a date night! And to my shame, I have often given him lots of grief about how late he works and how much he's gone. Who wouldn't want to come home to a nagging and grumpy wife, after all? Oy.

So yesterday I typed up a list of 10 things I love about him and sent it to him, just trying to encourage him. I guess the women who wrote this book know what they were talking about, because he came home (no, not any earlier) in a really good mood, was extremely sweet to all of us, had family dinner, and told me I looked like I'd lost weight! ;-) Huzzah! This stuff works! Whether it was true or not, it sure made ME feel better. Haha.


So after dinner, we were in need of groceries and Robert offered to keep the kids and let me go to the store with just the baby. With only one car and 4 little kids, I don't get out of the house very often, so I jumped at the chance. I spent almost 2 hours shopping because, since I'm not able to go that often, I try to buy everything I might ever possibly need each time I go! And since I was feeling so good about the evening, and still had the influence of the book on my mind, I put back a cute sweater that came with a belt that I had been wanting and was going to buy, and instead I bought Robert a t-shirt that said "No Mistletoe Required" for Christmas! ;-) I thought he'd like it. Don't worry, he doesn't actually read my blog, so he'll still be surprised. (But he's only allowed to wear it when I'm around! Don't want any of those other women to get any ideas!) I was feeling pretty good about things when I got home around 10:00 to find Robert fast asleep, the kids still up, and with all the groceries to unload and put away by myself. Oops. Well, they say circumstances are the true test of character. I did NOT wake up Robert, yell at him, and make him put the kids to bed. I may have thought some things that were not entirely loving or respectful while I put the kids to bed and put all the groceries away, but I really did try to work on my attitude, and I wasn't mad by the time I went to bed. After all, the poor guy was tired.



This morning Robert got all ready for work and, instead of leaving, he came back to bed to hug me and tell me that he felt like the richest man in the world! Wow. I am reading this book EVERY DAY! We had coffee and breakfast together and talked for a while before he had to leave for work. I am feeling so blessed by the past 24 hours. I know this doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect from the moment on, but its so neat to see the way encouragement reinforces itself to both people - the more love you show to someone, the more you receive in return! I also know that it's up to me to do the right thing even if I don't get any response back. But I am definitely grateful that I have such a sweet and godly husband who does encourage me. God knows what He's talking about!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Desperately in love...again...

I have a confession to make: I have never liked babies. It sounds terrible, but it's true. I liked kids once they were old enough to talk and play and interact, but I always thought babies were rather boring. They just cried and slept and lay there...they didn't do anything. And they kind of all looked alike. With 4 younger siblings,
I spent a lot of time around babies and babysat a lot, but I never was really a "baby person." I believe at one point I even swore I was never having any!

When I was pregnant with Joseph, my first baby, I was actually really worried that I wouldn't like him. I was excited about having a child but I thought I would just have to endure the baby phase until he was old enough to be interesting. Everyone kept reassuring me that I would love MY baby once he was here, but I was afraid they were wrong, and I felt secretly guilty over it. Well, of course they were right and I was wrong. I feel deeply and completely in love with this 9 pounds of baby boy and never got over it! I wouldn't leave him at all, with anyone, and I didn't really even like to let other people hold him. I had to take a grad school final that I'd missed while giving birth to him about a month after he was born, and it almost killed me to leave him for those 2 hours. Robert had to come to UNM with me and hold Joseph in my office while I took the final so I could see him the very moment I was done, and I couldn't concentrate too well because I kept thinking about my baby while I was supposed to be writing...I had been planning to go back to grad school after taking a semester off, but that final convinced me otherwise. I was never leaving my baby again!

Joseph as a baby

When James came along, only 14 months after Joseph, I didn't feel ready for another baby. I loved Joseph so much that I worried I wouldn't be able to love James as much. Once again, silly me, I was proven quite wrong. I fell in love all over again with James...but I still loved my toddler Joseph every bit as much. It was like those commercials for Double Mint gum: "double your pleasure, double your fun!" Two babies to play with, two babies to obsess over and worry about and adore.

James as a baby

 When Gabriella was born, it was easier. I knew I would love her just as much, and I was REALLY excited to have a girl simply because I hadn't had one yet. Everything was so different with her because she WAS a girl - it was all new and exciting. Pink clothes and ruffles and tiny dresses...oh my! I was in heaven.

Gabriella as a baby

But when Elora was born, I worried again (can you tell I'm a worrier?!), not that I wouldn't love her, but that I wouldn't be so excited. We'd already had boy and girl babies, so there wouldn't be anything new there. Fourth baby in five years....everything had already been done. We knew exactly what to expect; how could there be any more surprises? Well, you'd think I'd learn, considering how often I had been wrong! Her very birth was a surprise - with a quick, quick labor and extremely easy delivery, right into the hands of her waiting Daddy, since nobody, including the midwives, got there in time!
and...Elora!

 It was such a sweet and perfect moment, just the three of us, and I have the fondest memories of Elora's birth out of all of them! There were a few rocky months in getting adjusted to having 4 - as I discuss in this post - but mostly that was because of the older kids. Elora  was my favorite because she couldn't destroy anything yet! ;-)

To my relief, my fears of not being as taken with this fourth baby were groundless - I am every bit as crazy about her as I was about all the others! 6 months old, she is so sweet and chubby and fun. Our favorite nickname for her is "Elorable" because she IS! She is so interested in everything her big brothers and sister are doing that she will sit and stare at them for hours. She wants SO badly to participate in everything that she is scooting/army crawling across the floor and grabbing things off the table. Her enormous smile is punctuated by her two little teeth that finally popped through. She can stand up holding onto things and I wouldn't be surprised if she just started walking one of these days and skipped crawling all together. I love her differently - but every bit as much - as each of my other children.

It is such an amazing thing to me that you can love 4 children - and one husband - SO much that they are all the most important person in the world to you...at the same time. Love is the only thing that multiplies when you divide it. (I like this kind of math!) I think I have finally learned this lesson and I will not have to worry if I have another baby - or even if I have 10 more babies! I know that I will fall in love with each and every one of them.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

There for a reason

Dear female friends,
(if you're a guy, keep on walking - this post ain't for you!)

Go look at yourself in the mirror. Yes, I mean it. Are you standing in front of it? Good. Now open your eyes. Yes, both of them! Now take a good long look at your hips. Yes, I'm serious! Don't panic - of course you should skip that questionable waistline area. Really, look at your hips. Those nice wide sturdy hips. And now admire them! You think I'm being mean and sarcastic. I'm really not! Promise!

And now, if you have ever given birth, gives those wide hips a pat and say "thank you!" Because you KNOW it would have hurt EVEN WORSE if not for those things! Be grateful. IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.

If you're a young lady who's not yet given birth, admire your wide hips in anticipation. Just wait. You will be SO grateful for them someday.

And if you're a gal with narrow hips...well...I'm not really sure what to say to you. Except...I'm sorry, girl. You got gypped. More kegel exercises, maybe?

And if you're a guy...ha! Caught you! You're still reading, are you? Brave man. Go out and marry a wife with wide hips. Then tell her how beautiful her hips are. She will thank you someday.

  

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Costume parade...

As I mentioned before, this year's kind of the first year we really planned to do anything for Halloween. And, as it turned out, we didn't actually really do anything different! We were going to go to a "trunk-or-treat" event at a local church, but Robert had to work late, and we found out later that it had a lot of scary stuff, so I'm glad we didn't! Instead we dressed the kids in their costumes, had a nice dinner at home, watched a movie together, and ate way too much candy! It was a fun night just to spend together as a family, and I got to dress up the kids and (attempt) to take their pictures! They also got to wear their costumes to Awana on Sunday night because it was "dress up" night, and Robert and I were filling in for some teachers who were absent, so we brought the girls along too.

So here they are:

Cinderella:




Prince Charming:



Bruno, the dog:


and the little mouse:


Here's the only picture I could get with all four of them together:


And then James got bored and left...


I tried very hard to get a picture of Cinderella running away from Prince Charming, while he holds her slipper and calls "wait!" This is what I got instead:


(please ignore the big piles of dishes in the background. We had to take photos in the kitchen because that's the only room with good overhead lighting. As you can tell, I spent the week sewing, not cleaning.)


Finally, here's one of the Prince fitting Cinderella's slipper on her foot. I think it's my favorite!


I love the demure little expression on her face. She likes having her brother kneeling at her feet WAY too much! ;-)

Cinderella was a big hit. Next year I think we'll go for something simpler though! Whew! I'm tired of sewing.