What Women Fantasize About (G-rated)

Note - despite the title of this post, it doesn't contain inappropriate material. Or at least not much. ;-)

My husband asked me one day if women struggled with fantasizing about other men. I just laughed.
"Oh, honey," I said. "We fantasize about a lot of things...but men really aren't one of them."

One of the key differences between men and women that men will never understand. Men fantasize about women. Women fantasize about...having enough alone time to get done all the things we want? Maybe that sounds selfish. Maybe it is. Maybe we are selfish in our fantasies because that is the only time we can ever afford to be selfish - the rest of the time, we are too busy taking care of everyone else!

Here's a short list, by no mean comprehensive, of things women fantasize about:

-sitting on the couch, in a perfectly clean house (that someone else cleaned), sipping wine (or sparkling cider for teetotlaers like me) and watching Jane Austen and Elizabeth Gaskell movies

- eating magical chocolate that makes us thinner with each bite

- waking up in the morning looking like we just spent 3 hours getting ready, without actually having to spend the 3 hours

- going shopping by ourselves, without any kids, and coming home to happy children and dinner already cooked

- sitting in church with our husband and adorable, well-dressed, well-behaved children, who sit still and  quietly through the entire service

- bras that make us look good, but feel like we're wearing pajamas, and shoes that look like stilettos, but are as comfortable as bedroom slippers

- finding our favorite brand of clothing, in our size, marked 80% off

- fitting into last year's swimsuit (jeans are applicable too)

- taking a two hour bubble bath with a good book and NO interruptions

- a world where snakes and spiders do not exist

- having a bathroom all to ourselves, so we can scatter our makeup, curling irons, and hair products with impunity and never have to worry about whether the toilet seat is up

- painless childbirth (Hahahahaha! just the thought is hysterical!)

-getting 12 hours of sleep every night

- being served tea and scones from a beautiful china teapot at four o'clock each afternoon by our personal maid just like on Downton Abbey (possibly while watching Downton Abbey...)

- sometimes, I must confess, we fantasize about our husbands getting to experience our monthly periods or, even better, labor! That way they can understand what we go through and show much more gratitude for our forbearance as each month passes without an axe-murder occurring...

- and finally, one of my favorite fantasies, which crosses my mind nearly on a daily basis (including today), looks like this:

Le Sigh. Don't we all wish...

Okay, now pull your head down out of the clouds and go scrub something and find something about your actual life to be thankful for!

Then eat some chocolate and pretend it's magical chocolate that makes you thinner. You never know...it could happen....

Now, what about you, women everywhere? Anything you want to add to my list? (G-rated comments only please!)

It works!

My mom lent me a book called "How to encourage your husband" which has a lot of practical advice on things you can do to, well, encourage your husband! I spent a good bit of time yesterday reading it - because that's what I do...you give me a book and I pretty much have to read it straight through in every bit of spare time I possess! But this time I think I should have controlled myself and only read one chapter at a time, because it made me depressed and overwhelmed thinking about all the things I was doing wrong and all the things I had to work on! ;-) However, I am very glad I read it, and I decided to try putting a few of the things in practice. I feel like Robert and I have kind of struggled to be close lately, mainly because he has been working so much that he is exhausted by the time he gets home and often falls straight asleep after dinner. And of course, with 4 little kids, its hard to manage a date night! And to my shame, I have often given him lots of grief about how late he works and how much he's gone. Who wouldn't want to come home to a nagging and grumpy wife, after all? Oy.

So yesterday I typed up a list of 10 things I love about him and sent it to him, just trying to encourage him. I guess the women who wrote this book know what they were talking about, because he came home (no, not any earlier) in a really good mood, was extremely sweet to all of us, had family dinner, and told me I looked like I'd lost weight! ;-) Huzzah! This stuff works! Whether it was true or not, it sure made ME feel better. Haha.

So after dinner, we were in need of groceries and Robert offered to keep the kids and let me go to the store with just the baby. With only one car and 4 little kids, I don't get out of the house very often, so I jumped at the chance. I spent almost 2 hours shopping because, since I'm not able to go that often, I try to buy everything I might ever possibly need each time I go! And since I was feeling so good about the evening, and still had the influence of the book on my mind, I put back a cute sweater that came with a belt that I had been wanting and was going to buy, and instead I bought Robert a t-shirt that said "No Mistletoe Required" for Christmas! ;-) I thought he'd like it. Don't worry, he doesn't actually read my blog, so he'll still be surprised. (But he's only allowed to wear it when I'm around! Don't want any of those other women to get any ideas!) I was feeling pretty good about things when I got home around 10:00 to find Robert fast asleep, the kids still up, and with all the groceries to unload and put away by myself. Oops. Well, they say circumstances are the true test of character. I did NOT wake up Robert, yell at him, and make him put the kids to bed. I may have thought some things that were not entirely loving or respectful while I put the kids to bed and put all the groceries away, but I really did try to work on my attitude, and I wasn't mad by the time I went to bed. After all, the poor guy was tired.

This morning Robert got all ready for work and, instead of leaving, he came back to bed to hug me and tell me that he felt like the richest man in the world! Wow. I am reading this book EVERY DAY! We had coffee and breakfast together and talked for a while before he had to leave for work. I am feeling so blessed by the past 24 hours. I know this doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect from the moment on, but its so neat to see the way encouragement reinforces itself to both people - the more love you show to someone, the more you receive in return! I also know that it's up to me to do the right thing even if I don't get any response back. But I am definitely grateful that I have such a sweet and godly husband who does encourage me. God knows what He's talking about!

6 years and counting...

Today I have been married to the finest man that I know, in my not-so-humble opinion, for six years.  I know that he's not perfect, but he is perfect for me.

It constantly amazes me how God managed to put two people together who are so different as Robert and I are (he doesn't even like to read fiction, for goodness sake! ;-) but who complement each others strengths and weaknesses so well. He teaches me how to trust and how to discipline; I teach him how to be compassionate and patient. It just proves how God knows exactly what He's doing!

Some people say the first year of marriage is the "honeymoon period" and then the disillusionment wears off. I would definitely disagree with that! In lots of way, I think the first year of marriage was the hardest simply because it took a lot of getting used to living with someone else, and adjusting to the melding of two separate lives into one.

But now I can't remember what life was like before we were married. When Robert's gone, no matter what I'm doing or how enjoyable the time may be, I feel his absence constantly, like I would if one of my arms were missing!

Suffice it to say, I'm crazy about this man, and I look forward to spending the next 294 years with him!