Monday is always a dreaded day in my house, not because of the return of school, but because of the mess. Despite having the better portion of the house all clean on Fridays, by Monday morning it is evident that we did not keep up with chores over the weekend. Usually we are too busy either doing house projects (and then not cleaning up from them) or running errands or going places or just sitting on the couch out of sheer exhaustion. This weekend was inlucded all of the above! Friday night my brother came over for dinner; Saturday we bought the materials to fix the shed, went shopping, and then saw my parents briefly on their way home from Austria; Sunday we went to church, drove up to Dixon's apple farm to buy apples, and took the boys to Awama. Needless to say, last night was the "exhaustion" phase!
So this morning, our house looks like this.
(oh, sorry, you couldn't see the picture? That's because my camera broke through sheer disgust when I snapped it...)
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BUT last night I was reading in Proverbs (as a mom, I ALWAYS feel in need of wisdom!) and I came across Probers 14:4:
"Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox."
Now, at face value this verse may not seem very relevent, but I will show you just how relevent it is to my life as a mom!
When someone builds a barn, they don't finish it and look back and say "wow. What a lovely barn! I think I won't put any animals in it because they will just mess it up!" That would be ridiculous. A barn is a tool - it has the important function of sheltering animals from the weather and predators so they can eat and sleep in safetly. Are barns usually spotless? Nope! Animals are pretty messy. But the farmer is concerned with how useful the animal is to him and how much wealth and food he can generate through raising them either for market or to work on his farm. Nobody wants a nice clean barn with no oxen in it!
Not to compare my children with animals, but I see the same principle can be applied in my own life. If I had no children, my house could be spotless. Robert and I used to be able to clean our entire apartment in one hour - and that was after neglecting it for a week! Having children definitely multiplies the mess by a LOT! And usually, they can mess it up faster than I can clean. They do outnumber me 4 to 1!
But the verse about the oxen made me realize that the clean house is only a means, not an end. It's not the goal. Raising my children to be godly men and women who serve the Lord with all their strength is the goal! I need to stop getting so caught up in seeing a clean house as the mark of success and be more concerned with their education, growth, and strength - both physical and spiritual. The verse says that oxen bring much "revenue" through their strength. The KJV uses the word "increase." Not that we are expecting our children to make money for us (although I do hope they take care of me in my old age!) but "increase" in a spiritual sense - that they "enlarge" the kingdom of God with their strength and their work.
Now, I am not trying to use this verse as an excuse not to clean my house! (although sometimes I wish...) I actually enjoy having a clean house, and I think it makes the home much more pleasant and relaxed when it is clean. And just as there is a health component to a farmer mucking out the oxen's stalls, there is definitely a health component of keeping your house reasonably clean too! But I have to remind myself that it is the means, not the end. It's a building to shelter and feed my children and keep them safe while raising them to do God's work. I must confesss that many times I have put them in front of a movie or send them to play in their rooms so I can get the cleaning done. At the end of the day, I have a clean house...but I have missed the most important part of spending time with my children. Yikes. So I have posted this verse on my fridge to remind myself not to resent the messiness or the children who made it, but to remember the goal.
And fortunately, despite the comparison, children are unlike oxen in that they can be trained to clean up some portion of their own mess!
See, I'm just keeping my house messy so I'm used to it when I do have kids. Your posts are always so funny and well written. I miss you.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how you can read a verse a million times but you don't really "read" it until it aplies to your life? Wow! I am tucking this post away so that I can pull it out and go "ahhh, yes. This is why my house is a mess!" and remember that it won't always be. :) Thanks. :D
ReplyDeleteOnce again, your post made me cry. I remember walking by the girls' bedroom and stopped to listen to them playing with their doll houses. These were the words I heard - "Not now. I have to clean, and then I'll play with you." Now, I have never been a neat person, but it broke my heart to hear what my children believed were important to me. I wish I had seen the value of that verse long before that. The wonderful thing is that GOD is so gracious to erase so many things from our children's memories when we (the Momma)are willing to change and follow HIM. Thank you for the reminder...
ReplyDeleteWow, Katya, that verse used to be such a lifeline to me, too! and still is, actually.....I loved the part about the strength; most days, I have to choose between cleaning more surfaces & taking the time to cook some healthy foods. But the oxen can't be strong on MacDonald's, so the choice is clear. I'll have a clean house when all the young people are gone, oh, wait, I hope there will then be a slew of grandchildren trooping through! Dispel the myth of the perfect house and LIVE!
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