Monday's Top 10: Animated Characters

Top Ten Favorite Supporting Characters in Animated Movies

1. The King - Cinderella
I really don't like Cinderella's prince AT ALL (starting with the fact that he doesn't have a real name, just "Charming" - I bet he got beat up by the other princes at the Royal Academy...but that's a whole 'nother post). His father, however, is AWESOME. The poor guy just wants grandchildren, for crying out loud! And his rotten son just refuses to get married and give them to him! I love the scene where he accuses the Grand Duke of conspiring with the Prince to deprive him of his grandchildren and calls out "treason" and "sabotage" while chasing him around the Royal Bedchamber with a sword. Best scene in the entire movie! "The whole thing was a plot!"

2. King Hubert - Sleeping Beauty
First of all, who doesn't love the "scomps" song? He's another dad who just wants his son to get married so he can have grandchildren...he's already got the castle built and the cradle carved in anticipation of the joyful day! And the fact that he and King Stephen end up swordfighting with a fish over it...awesome. "Come, now, father, this is the 14th century, after all!" Poor King Hubert. His modern son is just ruining everything. I'm so glad Phillip and Aurora ended up giving him a happy ending after all...

3. Maximus - Tangled
"On his watch, crime virtually vanished overnight in the kingdom. As did most of the apples." We have watched Tangled, Gabriella's favorite movie, about 600 times, and every time the feud between Max and Eugene makes us all laugh out loud. Best. Horse. EVER.

4. Lady Kluck - Robin Hood
Robin Hood was my absolute favorite animated movie of all time as a child...and possibly still is! I was determined that I was going to marry him when I grew up...never mind the small obstacles of A) the fact that he was imaginary B) the fact that he was a fox and C) the fact that he was a cartoon...Anyway. hands down the best supporting character in Robin Hood is Lady Kluck, Maid Marian's duenna. Plucky, brave, and outspoken, she stands up to Prince John and defends her charge and Robin against all odds. The scene we dubbed "chicken football" where she escapes from all the evil rhinoceros guards is priceless...it literally had our childhood selves rolling on the floor with laughter and was re-enacted with great spirit on many occasions. "Long live King Richard---yeee-hee!"

5. Gune - Titan AE
It's not a Disney movie, but it's actually quite good, and I love the strange little alien scientist named Gune. He is an absentminded genius who lives in his own strange world that doesn't always intersect with the real world. Holding up an odd-looking device, he says "I built it in my sleep. It has a button and I wish to press it, but I'm not quite sure what will happen if I do..." **Spoiler alert!** There is one terrible moment after a bomb goes off when he slumps over saying "so tired...I think I shall take a little nap..." and we fear he has perished, but at the critical moment the laser cannons start blasting and we hear "I finished my nap!" over the intercom. Thank goodness! If Gune perished the movie would be pointless.

6. The Grandmother - Mulan
Evidently I just love old people. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Mulan shyly asks her suitor. "Would you like to stay forever?" pipes the shrill little echo from behind the garden wall. Poor Mulan. Those blunt relatives can be SO embarrassing. But what would be do without them?

7. The French Chef - The Little Mermaid
Singing and dancing joyously about, his enormous mustache bobbing as he prepares his culinary masterpiece...only to discover an evil little crab determined to remain un-cooked! Poor man! Have you ever been pinched by a crab? AAAAHHH! (Robert got pinched by a crab on his big toe while on the beach during our honeymoon. I think it's the only time I've ever heard him swear! ;-) I know he always roots for the chef.

8. The Vultures - Jungle Book
A-a-ahem. "We're your friends....we're your friends...we're your friends to the bi-tter end (the b-it-ter END)..." Ah vultures. Truly you're "never met an animal you didn't like." Only when I grew up did I fully understand the delicious irony of that line. Daniella and I make a habit of saying to each other: "So what you wanna do?" "I dunno. What you wanna do - eh, now don't start THAT again!"

9. Doug - Up
I have just one thing to say about Doug..."Squirrel!"




10. Kronk - The Emperor's New Groove
He's giant. He has muscles. He cooks. He wrote his own theme song. He has a shoulder angel and shoulder demon. Is there no end to the awesomeness that is Kronk? "Have you seen that sky? Talk about blue..."

My Top 10 Least Favorite Actors of all Time

I have a tendency to make lists. Top 10 favorites, top 10 least favorites...favorite memories, plans, place I want to go, things that annoy me, reasons to explain my behavior. It helps me organize my thoughts. So here is a completely random list: my top 10 least favorite actors of all time.  

(Please note that these dislikes are based entirely upon my own prejudices, whether or not they may seem reasonable to other people. Also, in most cases, my like or dislike of an actor stems from how much I liked/disliked the characters he has played. You may find that unreasonable. Feel free to disagree. It's my list.)

1. Nicholas Cage 
Nicholas Cage might not be at the top of my list if I hadn't seen National Treasure about 6 times the year it came out. I think that was the year Rachel and I went to Europe and they showed it on EVERY SINGLE flight there AND back. It was a pretty ridiculous movie the first time around, but by the last showing I HATED it and everything to do with it. And then they made a sequel! Seriously, people? Seriously? To top it all off, the man is just ugly. I don't normally discriminate against people based on looks but he's a movie actor, for crying out loud. And he's not ugly in the craggy, rugged, rough-and-tumble kinda way that some actors can get away with. Nope, he's just ugly. His face bugs me. And his VOICE bugs me even more. So now the fastest way for Robert to get me to say "NO!" to a movie is to mention it stars Nicholas Cage.

2. Cillian Murphy
This actor is just the creepiest man alive. At least, in the two movies that I have seen him in (Batman Begins and Redeye). I pretty much spent every second he was on the screen being terrified and wishing he would go OFF the screen! I think it's his eyes. Nobody's eyes should be that pale and wide and...well, creepy. He makes Gollum look cuddly. He is one actor I would NEVER want to meet in real life. He scares me - and not in the Bruce Willis, Vin Diesal, or Chuck Norris way, the "I'm scared of him because he's so awesome and he could kill me with one swat of his left thumb" way. No, if one of those guys were going to kill me, I'd stand up and take it like a man (yes, I know I'm not a man...not the point ) because it would be honest and straightforward and I'd probably deserve it. But I suspect Cillian Murphy is the type of actor who smiles at his fans while cutting them to pieces with smallt knives. And then probably eating their bodies. Sorry. I can't help my imagination. That man just gives me the shivers. (Also, the first syllable of his name is "kill." It's only a matter of time...)

3. Robert Downey Junior
I am mostly angry at him for ruining one of my favorite characters of all time, Sherlock Holmes. That movie was a travesty that should never have been made, and his participation in it is unforgivable. I'm fairly certain that no one involved in the movie had ever actually ready ANYTHING written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and if they did, that makes it all the more inexcusable. I also didn't really care for him in the Ironman movies, because he came across as an arrogant and womanzing jerk. Though evidently that is exactly how Tony Stark is supposed to act, so maybe I'm confusing the character with the actor here. Although I have heard that he is basically that same person in real life, so I'm going with my first instinct on this one. However, I might be willing to forgive him in The Avengers movie if it's good, because I like all the other characters so much and his arrogance, while annoying when he gets his own movie, might be amusing when tempered with the likes of Captain America and Thor (also arrogant, but let's face it - he has more reason to be. Tony Stark thinks he's a god; Thor actually IS.;-)

4. Owen's Wilson's voice
I don't have so much against the actor (despite his ginormous and obviously broken nose) as I dislike his voice. Ugh. It's so nasal and grating that I just can't stand it. Probably a result of that broken nose. If they did voiceovers I could probably live with him. Maybe I should watch Own Wilson movies in French.
(audio clip of Own Wilson's voice not available)

5. Alan Rickman's voice
Same story as  #4, only less nasal and more...just...I don't know what, but it's SO annoying. It's frustrating because I LIKE him as Colonel Brandon (as much as anyone can actually like Colonel Brandon because he's really rather boring, especially compared to Edward) and I LIKE him (or rather hate him, but he does a good job) as Severus Snape, but the voice! Ahhh, the voice! I am really stuck on voices, apparently. Which is why James Earl Jones' voice makes my favorites list. It's just SO deep. ;-)
(audio clip of Alan Rickman's voice not available. For audio of James Earl Jones' voice, please listen to Darth Vader in Star Wars or Mufasah in The Lion King.)

6. Charlie Sheen
I dislike this actor so much that I won't watch anything he's in. When every second your character appears on the screen is decided to immorality and then your producers make you leave because your real life is even worse than that of your character, you are definitely making my "hate list."



7 Ashton Kutcher
This one should be fairly self explanatory, although I think using the term "actor" here is kind of a generous concession on my part. And he replaced Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. Need I say more?



8. Ben Affleck
First of all, he has the biggest "butt-chin" I've ever seen. I'm sorry, but it just bugs me. And I can't think of a single movie that I've liked him in. He just doesn't move me. I don't buy his characters. He always seems conscious of the fact that he's acting, never really becoming his characters. He should have stuck to writing screenplays. Although if you bleep out all the bad words, you miss half the movie. Maybe he should learn some new words first.


9. Colin Farrell
My dislike of him is mainly because he is so foul-mouthed. His characters have a very limited vocabulary and it mostly consists of expletives. Dude, you don't need to ensure your movie gets an R rating in the first 30 seconds. Read a dictionary. And that goes for your brother Will too!


10. Willem Defoe's face
This is a tough call because I actually really liked Willem Defoe's character in Clear and Present Danger or whichever of the Jack Ryan movies it was in which he appeared, and I think he's a pretty good actor in general. It's just...his face. Oh my, his face. Like Cillian Murphy's eyes, there is something seriously wrong with it. Did he go into space and have it melt a little from too-close exposure to the sun? Was he actually handsome until he refused to sign a autograph and the enraged fan threw acid in his face? I could like him if I could get past the face...but I fear I just can't. I suppose that does make him a good Green Goblin, though. I guess I can just close my eyes when he is on the screen, and stop my ears when it's Owen Wilson or Alan Rickman. I know, I'm so shallow. If they were any profession but movie actors, I wouldn't be so discriminating. But since they are rich and famous I seriously doubt my opinion of them can hurt them in any way. Unless they happen to read my blog. In which case...gentlemen, I apologize.

(The views expressed in this post represent those of the author alone. No movies aforementioned should necessarily be taken as recommendations. Except the Captain America movie, which I highly recommend to everyone. Except small children. The Red Skull might be too scary for them.)