Figure of speech

As a mother of 4 children, I have finally figured out where so many of the idioms and figures of speech common in the English language have come from: children. Let me give you some examples:

1. pushing my buttons
Definition: to provoke or annoy in a way calculated specifically toward a certain person's dislikes
Origin: this phrase came into common usage right around the time personal computers became widely available. It stems from toddlers pounding on the keyboard while their mother was attempting to type an email, thus literally annoying her by "pushing her buttons."

2. "driving me crazy"
Meaning: to provoke or annoy to the point of unbalancing the victim's mental faculties
Origin: this phrase originated from small children who would drive their toy cars over every surface of the entire house, including but not limited to their mother's hair, thus getting the tiny wheels stuck in the strands and resulting in large amounts of pain, yelling, and confiscating of toy cars (see "out of my hair").

3. "by the seat of your pants"
Meaning: to narrowly escape something through luck or instinct rather than planning
Origin: this expression comes from children finding ways to avoid well deserved punishment. When the mother would attempt to correct their behavior with a spanking, the pain would be lessened, sometimes even averted entirely, by the thick diapers and pants the child wore. Needless to say this only encouraged a delay in the process of potty-training and the wearing of multiple layers of clothes, also contributing to the phrase "thick skin."

4."running around with my hair on fire" - self explanatory

5."going like a house afire" - ditto

6. "the grass is always greener on the other side"
This is less of an idiom and more of a statement of fact. With children digging holes in the lawn and tearing up handfuls of grass each time they play in the backyard, the grass quite literally is "always greener" on the other side of the fence, in the yard of one's childless neighbors. (Note: there is some debate among etymologists as to whether this grass issue may also be connected to the expression "green eyed monster" but the historical data is not clear enough to reach a conclusion at this time.)

7. "out of my hair"
Meaning: to avoid or finally gain a respite from someone who is annoying or irritating
Origin: Children are notorious for wanting to play with/in their mothers' long hair, tangling everything from hairbrushes to fingers to small vehicles in it (see "driving me crazy"). Needless to say, the relief a mother may feel when her children are "out of her hair" - even temporarily, as on a visit's to Grandma's house - is palpable. It gives her poor scalp a rest.

8. "clear as mud"
Meaning: something unfathomable or inexplicable; an explanation that is murky or makes absolutely no sense
Origin: This idiom comes quite literally from the inexplicable relationship children have with the thing itself: mud. As in, a mother asks her children "WHY are you covered in mud AGAIN?!" and their attempts at explanation leave her more confused, frustrated, and angry than ever (see "driving me crazy," "pushing my buttons," and "by the seat of your pants" for further clarification.)

9. "On the fence"
Meaning: to waver between two positions or locations, unable to decide which one to choose
Origin: In the days of yore before television was invented, children whose antics threatened their mother's sanity (see "driving me crazy" and "pushing my buttons") would be kicked outside to play in the backyard to get them "out of my hair"; however, according to the principle of "the grass is always greener on the other side," they would compare their own pitted and dying grass to that of next door and, quite understandably, attempt to climb the fence in order to reach the "greener grass" in the neighbor's yard. However, because they were only 2 and 3 years old, and neither their sense nor their stature corresponded to their goals, they would soon become stuck with one leg on either side of the 12 foot fence. Yelling at the top of their lungs, their mother would come running to find them "on the fence," unable to move in either direction. She would take them down, alternately hugging and scolding them, and bring them indoors where they would again begin the cycle of "driving me crazy" and "pushing my buttons."

10. "Get out of hand"
Meaning: the situation gets to the point where it is out of control or completely chaotic
Origin: The origin for this idiom is fairly simple, although it might more correctly be phrased "get out of arms." The moment the baby is "out of your hands" or arms - i.e. starting to crawl or walk - he and everything he does is now out of the mother's control. Generally causing the mother to lose HER control (see "driving me crazy," "pushing my buttons," "out of my hair," and "the grass is always greener on the other side"). The only solution for this is to keep the children within your arms and hold them tightly with your hands at all times. See "hugging."