A Momentous Occasion

My dear friends! Gather 'round, for I have momentous news! Rejoice with me upon this joyous day, for an event so singular, so rare has occurred, that I am sure you shall all be astounded.

{trumpet fanfare}

MY REFRIGERATOR IS CLEAN!

{applause mingled with shouts of delighted incredulity}

Thank ye, thank ye! It gladdens my heart that you share my joy. Now you may all return to your villages.

{Inaudible murmuring}

What's that, peasant? The microwave? You DARE to inquire about the state of the MICROWAVE??

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!

{swish. thunk.}

Anyone else? No?

A pleasant day, then, good people.